I Don’t Feel Like It!!

To starve to death is a small thing, but to lose one’s integrity is a great one. ~Unknown

in·teg·ri·ty (n-tgr-t)


1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

[Middle English integrite, from Old French, from Latin integritssoundness, from integerwhole, complete; see tag- in Indo-European roots.]
I have a confession…well, not a confession really.  More of a unwrapping.  Ok, that sounds crazy.  Call it want you want but I have not been willing to talk about this in other social media areas.  I have been struggling for the past week or so with this and it’s a bit negative.  Jim (Hubby-Mr. Great Cook to most of you!) says that I need to express this so that you all know that it’s normal to feel this way.  So, here it is.  I’m tired, I haven’t been feeling well, and I haven’t had much energy (or desire for that matter) to go work out.  I suppose I should feel better for getting that off my chest, but I don’t!  I believe the more I claim something, the more I get of it.  Speaking out loud of something brings it into existence and solidifies it.  I digress.  Here’s the deal.  I had the flu last week.  I was a little put back that I even got sick.  I NEVER get sick.  I didn’t appreciate it…not in the slightest.  My one daughter got the flue shot two weeks ago.  My second daughter came down with the flu about 3 days later (coincidence??? hmmm….) then I got hit about 4 days after that.  Then, my youngest son came down with it-he NEVER EVER gets sick!! He’s the most easy-going personality you’ll ever want to meet!  No stress on that one-usually.  So, I still wasn’t holding much food down and still weak and was up yet again taking care of him.  Fortunately (knock on wood), Jim has not gotten it and he says he is refusing to get it.  I’m glad.  I don’t think I could handle anyone else coming down with something!
It took me four days of rest (wow, does REST need to be quoted!) and on the fifth day, I went back to the gym.  I was wanting to go, because I felt I was “slacking” enough.  (I know I really wasn’t…my body needed that-man that’s hard for me though!)  About an hour into my work out, I had had enough.  I was exhausted and couldn’t go any further.  I was tired and grumpy the rest of the night.    While all this has been going on, life has continued to happen.  You know the drill.  School, money, bills, house, kids, oh yeah…It’s Christmas!! Now, I’m sure it is me being sick, but…I not feeling any of this!  All I can feel I want is a vacation!! I know that’s not happening!
This brings me to yesterday. It’s raining-pouring really.  I’m still exhausted.  Food is not tasting good nor going down well as of yet.  The “Life Thing” hits me first in the morning.  In the middle of all this, I know I gotta go work out.  Right here is where I want to talk to you…for real.  This seems to be a sticking point for so many.   I don’t feel like doing this.  I think I should be doing X (you fill in the blank).  Procrastination sets in and the day goes by.  Something keeps coming up.  I just plain ol don’t wanna do it!
I get it!!  Believe me…I get it!
There are some things that can help in this moment that ideally, you’ll set up for yourself  BEFORE this dilemma takes place-and it WILL take place!
  • Make sure you have a partner and/or (preferable and) someone to be held accountable to.  This second person will not accept your excuses!! They will not tell you “Aww…it’s ok.  There’s always tomorrow!”  NO!! This person needs to be your mentor and NOT your friend.  They will make it tough on you!
  • Set some goals and get them written in stone!  If it cost something, pay it!  This could be a race, a charity, a vacation coming up, a competition…something!  If I know I spent my hard earned money and I layed it all out there on the line, I am much more apt to complete it!!  I’ll do more for someone else, then I ever will for myself.
  • Join a group that costs you something:  This really is secondary to the last statement but, joining a class or group will work the same way-accountability here is key!
For me these areas should be a bit obvious.  However, in case you don’t know, here’s how I deal with my “feelings” of not wanting to:
  • I joined a gym (although that alone would not have been enough-no one misses me if I don’t show up!)
  • I have a partner:  I’ve stated that when I decided to go about doing some competitions, I needed my hubby on board.  For me that wasn’t just simply wanting his blessing or approval or even a great pat on the back now and then.  I wanted his whole buy in!  If I was going in on this, I wanted him to work the same program every step of the way!  I realize that many don’t have this and honestly, up until these last few months, Jim was just simply supportive of my fitness.  It wasn’t his “thing”.  It’s true!  I’m not sure he ever stepped foot into a gym before he met me!  I’ll have to ask.  He’s a big, strong guy-just not from lifting weights.  Now though, he’s my cook and work out partner.  He’s 110% sold out to this fitness thing and is as involved as I am!  Let me tell you…yesterday that was invaluable!! I needed my partner to tell me “quit your whining and lift the weight!  C’mon-do it!”  I’m serious!! He made me get in the car.  He made me drink my protein drink!  He made me do another set!  And I’m so grateful!  Some days we all need a little help!
  • I am 100% commited to doing a few competitions this next year!  They are some big goals!  Getting my card and being in bigger competitions means I have a lot of work to do…I’m in!  Dedicated, Sold out, Committed, Decision made and (the beautiful key word….) Disciplined to get it accomplished!
  • I have voiced my fitness goals and told all of you!  (see My Journey to a Competition ) I can’t let all of you down!! I know that you are all cheering me on and that keeps me going!! I couldn’t be more encouraged when I think of how much so many of you are doing and how we encourage each other on!! I am very grateful for this part of my fitness–that alone usually keeps me pretty “up”.  🙂
I love this word:  Discipline  This is an area from my perspective that we all can improve on!! It applies to so many areas in our lives!  I will spend the rest of my life searching and applying this wisdom into my life!  It is the basis for all High 5 Fitness areas!!
1. To train by instruction and practice, especially to teach self-control to.

1. Training expected to produce a specific character or pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
2. Controlled behavior resulting from disciplinary training; self-control.
So, YES…I suffer sometimes with feelings…but they don’t control what I do.  My commitments and decisions control that!  INTEGRITY means to do the task that I’ve committed to doing whether I feel like it or not!  It’s simple the right thing to do!  This following through is what builds confidence and character that I can be proud of.  It breeds success.  And it inspires others to go after their dreams as well!!  Honestly, I don’t care how you feel…if you said you would do it…then…just do it!  ( I say that in love!)

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