From My Personal Journal


Last spring, 2011 I heard a song from Sarah Bareilles “Let The Rain”:

 

“I wanna Let the Rain…come down-make a brand new ground.  Let the rain…come down….on me.”  God chose these words to speak to me and I wrote them down…

 

“Rain…I don’t like it.  It drowns out the sun.  Everything seems so dreary.  So what’s the point?

Rain is good for the ground.  It feeds, nourishes, cleanses, refreshes.  The moisture makes everything all around it supple.  It quenches, rejuvenated and replenishes.  Rain is needed.  We can’t survive without it!

Same Coin…two sides!

The cleansing is what I need most right now.  I’ve been under a dark cloud for so long.  I’ve needed to grieve from all I’ve been through.  Grieve for healing.  Grieve for forgiveness.  Grieve for growth.  I’ve learned so much from all I’ve been through–it’s time to say goodbye to the hurts.  Time to forgive: to forgive those that have hurt me, to forgive myself for allowing so much pain to enter into my life, to forgive myself for staying in that pain and drama for so long.

From this goodbye comes the hello to all that I am now.  I’ve come a long way.  It’s time to bring forth the fruit that God wants to grow?  The “plant” is ready to produce.”

The vision that I wrote down in this journal entry was this:

Stepping out into the Light Takes courage and Trust!

“The bags are packed.  The apartment is empty.  My jacket is on & my purse is in hand…I look back from the door, sigh, say goodbye and step out into the sun!”

It’s time to shine forth and bring God’s light.  Touch lives.  Time to be the conduit of God’s energy to tap into.  It’s time.  Forgive & let go of all that’s past.  Take with me all that I’ve learned & share the hope with others!!

 

The message to me is the same message that is to you…

 

It’s time to step out into the light &b be the leader you were created to be.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Phil 4:8  This verse has been my verse throughout my adult life.  With all that I lack, I have Christ.  I relate with Moses when he says to God…”but who am I Lord, that you should send me?”  lol…  That’s how I have felt in so many things in my life.  What I lacked, God made it possible for me to understand anyway.

I’ve been through some really tough times.  At the time, I couldn’t understand why.  Why did I need to have it so rough?  I didn’t understand and those around me couldn’t hardly comprehend it…but God knew.  He had a plan.  God would take all the sin and ugly and hurts in my life and turn them into something beautiful for me.  Something that He could use to help others.  From being adopted, to getting married young and having kids young, to getting an incredibly ugly divorce, to having so much and losing it all, to single motherhood..you name it.  God has uniquely put together a beautiful gold thread throughout my life and has made it strong.

God’s got me and my life…and He’s got you!

Going through hurt.  I wept. I rocked at night…praying and grieving and wringing my hands with worry.  I was in pain.  Pain that no one could take away and yet…now…it’s beautiful!!  I wouldn’t trade the “rain” in my life for anything.  I wouldn’t want to go through it again!!  However, I can say at this point in my life that if more comes my way…I can trust that everything will be ok.  God’s got this in my life…and in yours as well!  If you are going through “the rain”, remember, in the end it can be a beautiful gold thread that can shine a Light for others to follow.

 

~Pamela

 

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