Quite a long time ago, I prayed for my “Father’s Eyes”…to see and to love others like Christ loves us. You see, I have children. Four of them to be exact and now two more step daughters. The ability to raise another…to love them no matter what and to be unconditional and understanding even in the face of trials like disregard, hatred, disgust and complete anger is to be like Christ.
My world was a white picket fence, and beautiful two-story with money, kids, reputation, and a dog in the back yard! I prayed for my kids. I prayed for my husband. I prayed for our businesses. And then…My world came crashing down all around me. Lies swirled and hurt and pain ensued. How far would you be willing to go for another? Would you give up your coffee…forever? Would you give up your money? Your businesses? All your clothes except what was on your back? Your cars? Reputation? Your church? Your friendships?
When I was praying for a heart like Christs…I was asked the same question? After much thought (and quite a bit of surprise!), there honestly was only one area that I wasn’t willing to let go of…my children. They were everything to me. And I loved them dearly. Little by little, I lost it all. My coffees to my lifestyle. My reputation and church and honor and even my marriage all became dust from a terrible storm, one that lasted almost 7 years! I went from shopping at the best of places to begging on Food Stamps and getting clothes and Christmas presents (when I was lucky enough to be able to buy them) from Goodwill. The cars, the home, the dog, my friends and my husband…all gone. During this time, I was even hurt where it most struck me…the enemy knew what I held onto the most…my children. During those 7 years, I was tested something fierce! I was constantly being thrown around by lies…all of which in time became evident they weren’t true. I was watched, and sometimes followed-all to find some sort of evidence that the lies were true!! My older two paid a high price through those years! There were times that even though I loved them so much, I had to let them go as well. One of them left my protection and the umbrella of my faith, while the other three stayed with in it. The madness had to stop somehow… With a heavy heart and to avoid more court, I gave the unexpected…I agreed to let her leave. Even the one thing…became necessary to give up.
Through all of this and those awful awful years, I learned. I learned how to love up close and from far away. I learned how to love even when the other is spewing hatred at me. I learned how to give when I didn’t have much myself. I became strong. I became sensitive and understanding. I had to go through those times in order to learn how to trust that God truly does have me and those I love even when life is at its darkest hour. What became important was to encourage and find the best in situations and in people. I learned how to pick my battles more wisely…most fight’s aren’t worth the effort. To be able to weep over actions and behaviors while still loving and believing in the person is to love like Jesus loves us. No matter what, People come before tasks and things and my own pleasures. To hug and believe in my children even when they’ve done something wrong and to encourage & show them a better way for the next time is what a Mother’s love is all about. A mother who’s been through some trials knows what’s most important. They live with heartache every day and yet have joy and peace too knowing that they are in God’s care.
To all those Mother’s who have been disappointed and hurt and insults have come hurling your way and yet…you love. I want to say Happy Mothers day especially because you know how to unconditionally love another in spite of actions. It’s a precious gift to be able to love that deeply. I encourage you to keep going and trusting the True source of strength!! He’s got you! There’s nothing like a Mother’s unconditional hug & love except that which is from God Himself!! He can work all things together for good for those who love Him! That doesn’t mean that all things are good!! I have faced much pain in my life! But I do have joy from it all, knowing that He is at the helm and working it all out!
I am not completely on the other side!! Life isn’t all joy and roses! I have yet to see the happy ending in some parts, but I know and can trust that none of what I’ve put into other’s lives will come back void! God WILL honor all of it…in His timing!
Happy Mother’s Day and continue seeing life through God’s loving eye’s!