Here’s a great post about how we can react when we are situations that are rubbing us wrong! It’s not always easy to be “controlled” in those moments! My friend Bradley Grinnen gives a thoughtful view on confrontations….”Don’t Engage…Be Present”
Full disclosure… I am unmistakably a believer. In this space I often use the term ‘The Divine’ to refer to the Higher Power. Please allow yourself to replace ‘The Divine’ with how you’ve come to know and understand God.
The world has a funny way of bumping into us and completely changing our inner state of being. One moment we’re happy and content, going through our day, and then BAM! Someone that we really don’t feel good being around runs into us with the kind of passing comment that can immediately derail us. We end up having 4 or 5 different conversations with that person in our head for the rest of the day. Maybe we tell them off. Maybe we logically box them into a corner and then knock them out with the tremendously practiced words we’ve worked so hard to come up with. All in our head…
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I’ve been hurt in my past. Maybe you have to. Love seems too many times something that I have to earn or justify or work so dang hard for! Like the paycheck from work, so don’t screw up too much or you’ll get fired! I guess it’s because I’ve lived long enough to deal with friends walking away from something I’ve done. Wonder what it was? Hurtful words are sometimes thrown around – even from me! And they bite! Or, the one I care for just slips away…I’m left wondering what went wrong!
I’ve studied behaviors and thinking patterns and personalities from people for years! I’ve read so many books on the subject – I’m fascinated with it all really. I am certified in what’s called “Formal Axiology” which is the Mathematical Measurement of the way people think. Now that’s a mouthful. I’m also certified with Personality tests…I was asked If I can read minds last night…well, no. But it would feel like that if I did open up about how you think and what makes you tick. I’ve had countless people in tears…grown men cry over me talking about what’s in their lives. Things that I shouldn’t know because I don’t know them!
I get messages every day about personal things from people who know that I write for Red Fox. They struggle with issues…honestly, I think people just want to know that they are ok, to know a direction, and to be reassured that it’s possible to achieve. We are really hurting out there!
When I met my Jimmy, what struck the most was that no matter what came his direction from me or my four children (two were teenagers), he reassured me often that he wasn’t gong anywhere! He wasn’t leaving or walking away. He loved me. He loved me and let me know this WAAAY before I would allow myself to believe it! Like I said, I had been hurt! I had conditional love before and I wanted no part of it!
I tell my children that I may not like what they have done, but no matter what I still love them and will never walk away! Why? Because no matter what I do or how much I “miss the mark” God doesn’t ever walk away from me! He loves me unconditionally. He loved me while I was still in the midst of my sin (and still does when I sin!) I don’t go out and test the love Jim has for me…not on purpose. I stay loyal and helpful and encouraging to him to the best of my ability. I don’t test God’s love for me either…I don’t ever want to grieve either God or Jim. However, that love is tested regardless! I’ve been rude. I’ve been selfish, angry…these things step on the toes of the one that loves me unconditionally. I can hurt those closest to me. I’m sorry. It can happen to me as well! What will I do when it does happen?
To walk away looking for someone else who is going to be “better” or perfect means to let go on love itself. I’m not judging those who have…Jim and I are both divorced. I get it. I don’t wish it on anyone!! It was painful to all parties involved!
I know…I mean I really know that Jim loves me. I know this by how we dated. Poor thing, I put him through the ringer before I would make that commitment to him. I don’t need to test that at this point. We’ve made those vows. Is he perfect??? 🙂 No. But when He or I get off base we have to agree to talk it though (it doesn’t always start out the best way…but we do get there and work it through!) We have two things that we can trust with all our hearts…We both love Jesus Christ and have trusted Him with our lives and hearts…and we love each other.
This past February, Jim sent me a song that I’ve adored ever since. It’s now becoming popular! Here it is with all its beauty. This song is a true statement in every relationship and I believe we all crave such a thing. To not experience it leaves a hole in our lives! It is there for you and for me…first and foremost through God Himself! Next through how we love and take care of ourselves! When we are able to implement this love into our lives through these areas, we will attract more and more of it from the outside relationships as well! Take a listen…
Love is a Four letter word
is the album and the song is:
Jason Marz – I Won’t Give Up
It’s interesting to me how so many think that without even beginning their lives or going through trials they can cut down those who have and share openly where they get their strength! Who are we to stomp on another for going after goals and achieving them through leaning on Christ! I am talking to fellow Christians.
I have entered into a Fitness world where I’ve been amazed at the time, dedication and openness from these people! They achieve and lean on Jesus through it all. Many of them share openly their beliefs and yet without even taking one look at that part, others cut it down! Why? Jesus says that As long as the name of Christ is preached, it doesn’t matter where it comes from. God knows we all walk different paths! We’ve all come from somewhere. Not everyone has been raised in the church or even a solid family. Not everyone has been given the “clean life” In fact, many have slipped and fallen numerous times! God loves those people!! He claimed that He came for the broken! He ate and mingled with them!! He loved their humbleness…that comes from living a life and knowing full well that mistakes and short-comings were made!!
How else are we to reach these people (myself included!) without stepping into their world and loving them right where they are at!! I don’t hide behind the Bible or Church…I do believe and stand on the promises that God gave me and have found them after much testing to be true! I also attend and give to the church…but it’s no excuse to cut down and judge others!! Shame on those Christians who do! God says to encourage others…so do it already!! “Give to one another in ‘Brotherly Love'”
I have found that competitions are one of the most encouraging, uplifting, cheering places both in and out of them!! I’m proud to be associated with all of those I’ve formerly competed with…without a doubt! No matter what size, what the suit looks like, if we have stretch marks, or skin that can’t be helped from losing so much weight-the others cheer on! Proudly exclaiming the long distance we all have come!! It takes hard-earned effort to get there! And very few in my limited experience say that they do it all on their own!! So many believe in the power and strength that they receive from Jesus Christ!!
Does Jesus need us to be thin and fit….no. He loves us regardless!! But to not be fit is to lack energy, inspiration, and many times deal with outright depression. Is that where God wants us?? I say NO!! He wants us to be at our best!! That way we are ready for whatever He brings our way!!
I can’t say enough how amazed I am with the lives that because I’ve gotten into great shape, that I’ve been blessed to know and touch for Jesus!! I’ve shared tears and laughter and stories galore already and I know there’s much more to come! Who am I to stop that work? To me, it’s a ministry in its own right!!
As for lusting…I’ve found ZERO of that within the competitions! None!! It’s just not even a question! I have found that outside of them, but I find that with being fully clothed!! I cannot control what others think… I can only do what God calls me to do and to do it with My BEST!!
With much love and respect…~Pamela